EMI has infringed my (private copy) rights

On Wednesday we had yet another special guest lecturer in, this time from EMI. He's Richard O'Brien, head of Media. (For a while I debated naming the poor guy, after all, he did presumably volunteer his free time to come talk to us, but... nahhhh.)

Now it must be said that I feel for Richard and people like him. They are in a rather untenable position, having to defend an industry that, largely due to its own inattentiveness and lack of preparation, has frequently found itself pissing off its most ardent supporters (i.e. music fans) and generally shooting itself in the foot at every turn. But the music industry has also been attacked on several sides, mostly from a fiercely competitive high tech industry, that is essentially using music to sell hardware and software. (And, having held a senior executive position in media at a major label, I just empathize.)

So I wanted to cut him some slack. But during the Q&A session someone in the crowd cornered him on the subject of lame copy protection schemes that render product virtually unusable (pun intended, ha ha). And poor Richard didn't have much of an answer. He kind of shrugged and looked sheepish which, under the circumstances, was about all he could do. (If he'd offered to exchange the offending CDs, it would have set a dangerous precedent I guess.) So I followed up with a question of my own, asking if -- amid all the industry's brightly optimistic calculations for a digital music industry --they had calculated how much MORE opportunity would be generated if defective DRM and lame copy protection schemes were off the table (and off the records), and if consumers had genuine CHOICE and INTEROPERABILITY? I mean, anecdotally I see plenty of evidence around me to suggest that most people are satisfied (for now) with their iPods BUT who also say that it would really loosen up their purse strings if they had some assurance that what they bought today would allow them the flexibility and utility they seek, without the built-in incompatibility and obsolescence issues.

And once again Richard couldn't really answer. Which tells me that the industry literally has NO CLUE how much they -- along with their consumers -- could benefit by getting things right. All of their projections are based on the current, sad state of affairs wherein the hardware makers and software makers are duking it out for digital supremacy. Can you imagine where the TV industry would be today if not for a standard broadcast format (NTSC, PAL or SECAM, depending on where you live -- okay, bad example)? Back in the day, sales of the first prerecorded music really only kicked in with a vengeance once it became clear that Emile Berliner's gramophone was the de facto standard, and Edison's phonograph was relegated to office dictation, to which it was best suited anyway. But I digress, as usual.

Richard's visit reminded me of earlier this summer, when his employer EMI infringed my rights.

On the strength of nothing more than Bob Lefsetz's personal recommendation, I went out to buy a new CD by an artist whose name I won't mention here because that's how pissed off I am. Neither the unfortunate artist (who, as always, is caught in the middle) nor the label will get any free publicity from me, because I've been screwed over. POINT #1: The most effective means of promotion remains word of mouth. Don't squander it, or worse yet, make enemies.

Now, in a classic chicken-and-egg situation I can't tell whether the genuine buzz on this artist came first, or whether the marketing campaign did. I suspect it was a bit of both: the label believed and so decided to pitch some cash at it. I was dimly aware of the hoopla surrounding the release; I mean, I get Billboard and Music Week too. But I'm always suspicious of the hype, because so few acts truly live up to it. Then again, with the Internet you can successfully introduce new acts more credibly than you can ever do by spending big marketing dollars. All it takes is some reliable sources. FWEs (friends with ears). Without the word-of-mouth, made all the more efficient and effective by the Internet, you're not in the game. Read Gladwell's Tipping Point again, you'll see.

I've long since given up on the mainstream media because in Vancouver the papers (except the local street weekly) are all owned by the same corporate giant, all spouting the same right-wing agenda. And they own the TV outlets -- ditto on the right-wing agenda. Thankfully they have yet to own the Vancouver radio stations too, but then they all belong to a different homogenizing conglomerate anyway. Not that it matters, because no one listens to radio anymore . Ho-hum. (End of that rant .)

Like most of us, I could have gone online and downloaded the album. But I support the industry -- to a point. More importantly, I support the acts. Or I want to. But the labels make it so difficult for me, for reasons that will become clear in a moment. So I decided to buy the CD. Yes, CDs are a dying technology but in a certain way they're still the most flexible... unless they're being hobbled by DRM. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. By a quirk of fate, that same week the CD was advertised on the back page of the Georgia Straight at a low introductory price. If I wasn't before, now I'm committed to buying it. POINT#2: If you price it right, the people will come.

So I'm at A&B Sound, once the price-driven market leader but now a down-at-the-heel also-ran. I've never seen the store so empty. And sad-looking. Not an exciting, fun place to discover music. Granted, I rarely shop in person any more. Bricks can't compete with clicks for sheer pizazz, ease, information, or product sampling. This experience reminded me why.

After searching fruitlessly through the front racks (where you'd expected the advertised specials, right?) I wandered around for a few minutes in search of help. Eventually I found a clerk, who hadn't heard of the artist in question. I had to explain who (the unnamed new artist) was and the genre(s) under which the CD might be filed. Told him it was advertised, on special. That still drew a blank. POINT#3: if you're truly intent on selling product -- never mind developing an artist -- you've got to EDUCATE THE DISTRIBUTION CHANNELS, perhaps even more so than the consumers. Make them a part of the story. Get them to evangelize for you. Don't assume they're already drinking your marketing Kool-Aid.

The staffer pointed me to the generic alphabetical bin. "I guess we're sold out," said the clerk unhelpfully. You GUESS? He couldn't tell me when or even IF more would arrive, and I wasn't about to ask him if it meant having to wait even longer while he checked the store's inventory system. POINT #4: If you're going to go to take a hit to your margins by special-pricing and co-op advertising your featured act, SHIP IN SUFFICIENT STOCK. And then FOLLOW UP. But then, CDs are nothing but a loss-leader at A&B. Window dressing, to up-sell hardware. Defeated, I left.

Then some time later Lefsetz sent a follow-up note(s) re: the artist in question. So now I'm back on the hunt. I had more important stuff to do on my lunch break, but it had been a long time since I was this fired up about new music. When my curiosity is piqued, I need to score. I don't like to give up that easily. After another near-fruitless search, just as I was about to call it quits for a second time, I finally found it. IN THE ALPHABETICAL SECTION, SPINE-OUT. As in, no facing. At least it was stickered at $7.99. So I grabbed it and took it to the cash, paid, then left. I was in a hurry and didn't immediately twig that they had charged me $8.99 instead of the stickered price. I did the math when I got home, and boy was I pissed. But for the sake of that extra buck I wasn't going to travel all the way back to the point of origin, because the cost of the Skytrain trip would have been more than twice the difference. But guess where I won't be shopping again in a hurry? POINT #5: Don't rip off the customer. And make damn sure your pricing is consistent WITHIN THE STORE. Don't use false or misleading advertising.

Then, the coup de grace. I get home and take the newly acquired CD upstairs to my home office. I'm excited; I haven't bought much new music lately that's really turned my crank. So I drop it in my laptop, because I need some fresh tunes while I work. I need to be inspired. But the CD DOESN'T PLAY. I take it out, re-seat it, and try again. And again. And again. I look at the package: there it is, in hieroglyphics too small for my aging, naked eye: "May not play on iPod/iTunes." WHAT THE FUCK??? A CD that won't work with the world's #1 top-selling portable music device and software? A device with a conservatively estimated 70% market share??!? POINT #6: Shit, if I have to spell it out for them -- they will NEVER understand.

(Allegedly it will play in Windows Media. But even though XP has begun to redress some long standing issues, I still do not trust Microsoft. I refuse to use WMA, on principle. It's a subpar codec, anyway. Windows Media player is a waste of hard drive space, nowhere near as elegant, intuitive or user-friendly as most apps out there, yet strangely loaded with absolutely useless features. WHO THE FUCK NEEDS "VISUALIZATIONS"? What is this, the 1970's?)

I can't even get the disc to play on the machine's basic audio CD player. So I pop open Windows Explorer and I go surfing through the dozens of files and folders on the CD, where I see nothing but INSTALLER files, Flash & HTML documents, tons of extra crap that I don't want or need. I want MUSIC! TUNES! As in, .WAV files. Not this headache. I try absolutely everything but can't get it to work on my Windows machine. I try a few of my favourite workarounds. Nothing seems to do the trick. So now I need INSTRUCTIONS on how to play a goddamn CD? POINT #7: If I'm going to need instructions, then GIVE THEM TO ME. On paper. You know, in an insert or in the packaging. Because if I can't even get the thing to open in my machine, how the fuck am I supposed to find the README files?

I'm not computer illiterate. After my label years, I worked in high-tech (core digital audio compression technology) for years, so by this point I know my way around a PC. I'm not a programmer, more like a borderline geek. An early adopter, not an innovator. But the thing didn't even auto-run not matter what I did. Which is probably a good thing after all, because I'll be damned if I'm going to install ANYTHING on my machine, especially after the Sony rootkit fiasco. Or at least, I won't install anything that I did not specifically seek out for the sole purpose of making my life easier -- not more difficult. Apparently the industry can't decide once and for all if we -- its hardcore consumers, the 20% of fans who buy 80% of the music -- are computer geniuses, idiots, or criminals, or all three simultaneously.

So by this time, I'm 15-20 minutes after popping the shrink wrap and I still haven't had any satisfaction. I'm no longer inspired. I'm frustrated. Angry. I've had a long day. I've got work to do. In this situation, music is supposed to be my SALVATION, not salt in my wounds. I mean, I want it for home and my iPod, and I want it NOW, but not bad enough that I'm going to pay for it twice -- once at retail, once at ITMS. All my expectations have been built up and systematically torn down. This is the new music experience?!?!?

Now I'm left with two options:

1. Go all the way back downtown, return the CD, give them an earful about the pricing scam, and exchange it for a catalogue item doesn't have the heavy-handed copy protection. Then go online and download the album for free. End of story.

2. Reconfigure my stereo so I can output the analog amplifier signal into my sound card, and rip the CD from there. But it's a pain in the ass, and time-consuming. OK, so technically the analog signal is not true "CD quality" sound, but it's close enough for rock 'n' roll and 99.9% closer than my 128-kbps MP3s or AACs will ever be. So I'm OK with that. But here's the rub: if I'm going to go to all that trouble, I'm going to rip a whole BUNCH of CDs while I'm at it. Not just this artist's, either. I might as well make a whole lot more MP3s. For ALL my devices -- and maybe a few for my friends, too. Because by now, it's become personal. It's about revenge for all the aggravation, the time and effort I've wasted, just because I wanted to satisfy my musical urge -- while doing the right thing, by PURCHASING the product.

So I go with Option #2. I mean, I had to listen to the CD anyway, so I might as well do it while making my MP3s. But of course the CD is cut really hot -- what's with these assholes, anyway, who think that jamming the VU meter into the red during mastering makes a CD sound better?!??! Either that, or they're tinkering with a watermarking technology that is so primitive it's audible to the naked ear. So I have to go back and re-rip my MP3s at a sensible level to avoid clipping, or whatever watermarking is causing that horribly distorted sound.

While all of this is going on, and I'm getting madder and madder, it occurs to me that my right to private home copying is enshrined in law. Hell, in Canada downloading freebies from the Internet is LEGAL!!! And therefore, by preventing me from doing this. EMI -- for it happened to be one of their priority acts, sad to say -- is infringing on my rights to private copying.

If a few more of us pissed-off fans were to get together, we'd have a nice class action suit on our hands.

FINAL POINT: CD sales are in a death spiral. What's 2 + 2? You figure it out.