Today's post is brought to you by... brown sauce.
I've been sitting here staring at a packet of the stuff, contemplating it, virtually from the moment I came home tonight.
This unknown substance intrigues me because I've more or less been a lifelong anglophile, and I've never even heard of brown sauce. But apparently it's "a great British tradition," or so it says on the label. (The label also says it contains water, sugar, modified maize and Tapioca starch -- the T is capitalized! -- apple puree [contains E330, whatever that is], molasses, salt, acidity regulator [acetic acid], spirit vinegar, tomato puree, spices, colour [E150c], preservatives [E202]. It is made in a factory handling celery and cereals containing gluten. I'll spare you the nutrition info per 100 mg. Wouldn't want to take all the mystery out of it.)
I'm told that brown sauce most commonly associated with breakfast, good with eggs and such, but it's enjoyed with most every meal.
I'm almost tempted to try it. Not now, of course; it's 12:30 AM GMT as I write and I haven't got anything suitable to put it on. Maybe in the morning.
Right now, some ignorant twisted pigfuckers with what I imagine to be tragically (or comedically) small penises are repeatedly setting off unnecessarily loud firecrackers somewhere on the campus grounds. It is all the more unnecessary since it's 12:32 AM, when more modest explosive devices would still have the desired effect. I mean, if you're gonna be an A-1 asshole, you might as well do it in the broad daylight when more people can recognize your authorship. Why go to all the trouble and expense of being an anonymous asshole?
I'll leave you to ponder that while I go sleep.
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1 comment:
I didn't see brown sauce, but a year ago in the summer I was in the U.K., and I wrote a series of stories about it, punctuated by the vocabulary variances. Have you tried a toad-in-the-hole yet?
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