* (To be bellowed aggressively and drunkenly in the hallways after 4:00 AM, through a rented bullhorn, during the week of undergrad final exams, to the tune of "Maggie May" by Rod Stewart):
Wake up maggots, you know I've got shomething to shay to you
It's 4:15 and before long you'll be back in school
I know you're probably tired, but I'm just getting wired
Oh maggots you don't know the pain you've caused...
You disturbed my sleep more often than I care to count.
Your puerile stunts and hangovers really show your age
Inconsiderate prats, in my eyes you're wastes of space
You laugh at all your own jokes, you burp and fart and smoke
Oh childish brats you're Darwin's evidence...
Wiped off the planet soon, a slow and painful doom,
A hopeful thought that keeps me going strong.
All I needed was at least one night of restful sleep
But you pinheaded twisted pigfuckers, you wore me out
Stumbling in shouting the odds
at all hours and slamming doors,
Oh assholes you couldn't have tried anymore.
You woke me from my sleep 'cause if your brains were TNT
You lot would not have enough to blow your nose...
(to be continued)
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